Summer of No, how I learned to say NO...Part 1

This is not a post telling you how I taught my kids the value of gratitude or appreciation. Nor will this be a post of how I better disciplined my kids, getting them to follow the rules or further their lives during the summer. If you were expecting one of those sweet how I saved money through not going out to eat posts or how I kept my kids all busy by turning off electronics, keep looking. My kids are happily upstairs pounding away at the Xbox in the AC we keep pumping for the summer. Granted, they read two hours a day and both practice sports and instruments. But, this isn't about them, it's about me. No, this is more of a reflection than an advisement. I am going to share with you what happened when I held myself accountable to what I am teaching my kids. How I told myself no, to several things I actually encourage my kids to avoid. When I decided to give myself a few ground rules and focus on what I have allowed to get out of hand in my own life, my outlook on life changed. First of two posts, this is how I, a concealer addicted Avon lady, said NO to makeup for the summer.

Have you ever had one of those aha moments? You know the ones. The slap you in your face kind of moments. I had one. My poor tweenager, was lamenting to me about his pimples on his face. With the heat and humidity, he is just suffering. As I was sharing with him how it really doesn't matter, he's handsome with or without pimples, he looked at me and said, "Mom, I cannot put concealer to cover them up like you can." WHAM!!! It was like he slapped me right in the face. I've always been a proponent of look for the beauty on the inside, and don't judge a book by its cover. As he is telling me this, I am taking my required 20 minutes of prep time just to do my makeup, to leave the house(to go grocery shopping). Granted, I am now in my mid-30s and my face is similar to his and just pops up acne everywhere. Yet, it got so bad I would not go anywhere without my different layers on. Although my mouth was saying your beautiful just the way you are, my actions were saying, you need makeup to be accepted and loved. Looking into his big beautiful green eyes I realized I had to teach my son in action not just in talking. I had to show him beauty is really from the inside and we don't need to try and hide all our flaws. I committed to him right then, I was not going to wear makeup for the summer.

My daughter came in and we all talked about beauty. What stood out is they were considering pimples as noticeable marks against them. They expressed to me if they had a pimple, they were flawed. There my beautiful babies believing they were not as becoming as their peers, because of a clogged pore. I couldn't understand. I realized I wanted to teach them it's more than skin deep.

Yet, what I say and I what I do are two totally different things. I say don't worry about your little flaws, yet I spent lots of time getting ready and doing my makeup, I rarely have gone anywhere without some on. It's amazing to me at 9 and 11 they have absorbed this from not just society's influence, but my own actions. I am the most love yourself, mom, to them. I will cheer them into self-love if I could. They are both confident and intelligent. Yet, I know the bug of acceptance and fitting in bites them as much as it did me when I was their age. I know I cannot force them to accept how beautifully and wonderfully made they are. As true gifts from God, they are a unique thumbprint on this world, and no one can take away their crown from the King. These are not things I could force them to understand, yet I could truly show them an example from watching me. I had to remind myself, years from now my children don't remember what I tell them to do, they remember what I did.

In the initial planning of this challenge, I went into this with an appreciation to teach them something much deeper than makeup. I wanted to teach them beauty is truly from the inside, and it's ok to be who you are. Own yourself and your personality. Don't absorb and be anyone else but YOU.

However, I realized I have taught myself more than what I imagined. First of all, I am no longer than tween praying to be accepted in a new middle school or high school. There is no need to have a pretense of a separate face for out the door and at home. I can truly smile, crooked teeth and all, knowing that it is all me. Even with the most recent break out upon me, I can fight the urge to hide behind all my concealer.

So, even as an Avon lady the most makeup I'll be sporting this summer is my lip balm. For some people, this is a very easy concept. I know several people who have gorgeous skin and don't both with makeup. However, as I have suffered from acne since I was his age and have clamored for years in search of the best potions to cover it up, this is no easy feat. As an Avon lady for seven years, my battery of makeup is as limitless as colors in the rainbow.

How is it going so far? Well, the first week was difficult. Not being able to brighten up those circles, or cover up the pesky adult humidity acne, was very hard. I imagined in my head everyone staring at me. Oh the horror of posting non-made up selfies, GASP.


Now, I am three weeks in and I can say I haven't been looked at funny once. Granted I work from home, so I did not get the "You look so tired" response from friends and family. Having survived the initial shock, I realized something, I can appreciate the features I love on my face. Plus, my kids now tell me "wow mom you look really pretty today", and I have done nothing hahaha. The side benefit has been a chance for my skin to breath, utilizing only skin care and lip balm. Another great benefit has been saving money on replenishing all that makeup


So am I going to get the point across? Maybe...Our goal as parents is to raise our kids to be better than adults we ever could be. I want my daughter to feel beautiful in her skin and my son to look at women for who they are no matter how much is on their face. So, I am going to try and show them makeup is not needed to be beautiful. I challenge anyone who can, be brave and try no makeup for a day or longer. Not saying I won't return to makeup, cause I will. But, I won't be so dependent on fixing my face to be acceptable for leaving the house. Hopefully, I will be able to show my kids that you don't need to cover up every flaw. No, that one pimple will not ruin how amazingly beautiful you are inside and out. Will they believe me? maybe.. maybe not. But, I am shedding my layers to prove to myself I am beautiful inside and out. I think I have to believe in it myself to get my kids to really buy into it.
Great Books for Summer for Tweens