Why Can't We Be Kind?

kind·ness

ˈkīn(d)nəs/

noun the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

Isn't it amazing how this has been lost in today's world. From screaming political candidates to mass tragedies, it has become a world where kindness seems to be the last priority on the list. As a parent, this has been challenging trying to navigate the waters. Out of habit, I find myself wrapped in the tunnel of negativity, just focusing on what I need from everyone else. Then, when I notice my kids always looking out for themselves, I realize I need to stop this. Obviously, this mentality hasn't gotten us very far in our world, either..

Spending most of my adult life in Las Vegas, kindness was never the lay of the land. It was almost like a common occurance to be snipped at the grocery store, or flipped off while driving. So, one busy morning when I was heading to work stressed out and unhappy at life, I received the most unexpected kindness. The person in front of me bought my breakfast. You see, I am a penny counter, so this was really an amazing thing for me. This happened ten years ago, but I can still remember to this day.

Yet, I find myself trapped in the whirlwind of life. Always focused on where I need to be and what I need from life. Annoyed by anyone who in anyway wrongs me (yeah, that person who cut me off in traffic, or took my parking spot), I assume the worst and forget to look in their shoes. I don't want my kids to act like me at these moments. So, I decided I needed to change.

These are the things I am doing to be more kind in my life. Maybe they can help you too.

1. SLOW DOWN-
Life doesn't need to be at breakneck speed. Not every moment has to be in a harried rush. When you have a chance to hold the door for someone, say thank you, or smile, you can slowly bring in the small sense of humanity that has been missing from this world.

2. CHANGE SHOES-
Look at the situation in the other person's shoes. The mom who was snappy this morning at kid drop off, well we've all been there when the toddler spilled cereal all over the floor and the teenager was complaining all morning. What about the guy who literally cut you off, have you ever cut someone off unintentionally? Consider the position of the other person, or consider when you have been in their shoes.

3. APPRECIATE BEAUTY-
My daughter is the best example of this. We were driving across the country to move. Stressed and unhappy, I rode in the car just aching for it to be over. My daughter was in the back seat, admiring the beauty in it all. She wrote in her notebook about how beautiful the flowers were and how the colors danced across the rolling hills. Guaranteed everyone we met after she got out of that car, got a happy, smiling little girl to greet them, not a sulky stressed out child cramped in a small car. The beauty in the small moments allows you to notice others.

4. PASS IT ON-
The best feeling in the world is to give. I knew even after we moved and I felt so mean and nasty we had to figure out how to give. Whether it be your time, talent, or money, giving of yourself truly takes you out of your own mind and puts the focus on other people. I know your a mom who doesn't have time, I get that. Yet, somehow making a process with the kids allows you to gain the benefits of giving and teaching them. I have always volunteered in our church and my best feeling was when I saw my kids volunteer right next to me.


So, these are things I am working on to be more kind. I want to be able to give an unexpected kindness to someone else. In our world filled with darkness, my goal is to be the light that shines through. Your one kind word, act, or focus may be the most kindness the other person has seen in their entire life. Be the change you want in the world.